True Fear & True Love

A jealous god is a feared god, and I see now the relation between True Fear and True Love. These dualities apply to the dualities of the ego and non-ego; the contradiction occurs in the minds of those who, because of fear cannot face fear and cannot move past towards love.

Exodus 20:4-5. “You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God…”

I:51. “…Also, take your fill and will of love as ye will, when, and with whom ye will! But always unto me.
52. If this be not aright; if ye confound the space-marks saying: They are one; or saying, They are many; if the ritual be not ever unto me: then expect the direful judgments of Ra Hoor Khuit!”

“Jealousy,” and “direful judgments” all directly address the individual’s ego, and are not to be mistaken as corresponding to the non-ego/Higher self/HGA/God. (The latter obviously does not apply; the non-ego is devoid of ego/judgment/jealousy). The individual’s ego fears retribution from an external “higher power,” whether it is a parent when one is young, society, societal laws, deities, etc.; but what it is actually fearing is the Union with the Higher self/HGA/God within them, once again, because the ego knows it must submit.

The psychological process that occurs (usually when dealing with the monotheistic God) is opposite to Identifying-Objectifying-Banishing a demon/aspect of ego. Here, what is occuring is the automatic ego Objectification (of the HGA into external deities)-Avoidance (denial of external deities)- Incomprehension (of what was actually the issue).

The declaration of any given god to appear ego-full and not just ego-less, therefore, either causes the individual to react with more Mercy, or to Objectify-Avoid-Incomprehend the issue. (Then again, all attacks against the ego can invoke this response.) The individual who is aware that they feel fear regardless of how ludicrous the stimulus (like words on paper from a god), is then given the chance to be honest and inquire within themselves; if they feel fear, there is something to be afraid of (a higher power); and there is something that is feeling the fear (their ego). This is also the function of the Tunis Comment.

The appearance of contradiction in an ego-full and ego-less God have been elaborated upon: when you Love everyone, you hate everyone. Love supersedes all facets of the projection of existence. The individual whom accepts God’s Love sees no contradiction between his jealousy and his Love. One understands that this jealousy is merely an attack upon the individual’s ego, and it is only the ego whom acknowledges this jealousy.

A Breath of Fresh Air


Meditation in full-lotus position, facing East. Simple 4-count diaphragmatic breath control inhalation (life) and 4-count breath exhalation (death), after giving fellatio and consuming the sacred seed.

Fellatio in itself is as much of a meditation as holding one’s form in a particular asana, with an additional layer of Motion/awareness necessary to respond naturally to the incoming flow of pleasure from the recipient. There is no active thought, only uninhibited response to the other person’s body. The mind must relax, for otherwise it causes the body to panic, to tire, to be irritable, and suffer through lust of result.

After his orgasm, I let my mind slip deeper into a state of my subconscious, the previous Motion/awareness continuing but now having been swallowed, it continued within me. My Motion was dependent on his; his dependent upon mine; and his seed was the combined physical manifestation of both him and I, that now found refuge in me where it had came from him. All Union is an act of both life and death; the Motion combined has only found a new Form. The meditation allowed me to experience this Motion while sitting Still, synchronizing my inhalations and exhalations with the rhythm of him in me; me in him; us in Union; us in Nothing.