Due to to the explicit nature of this post, I have no choice but to label this with a giant TRIGGER WARNING, state that I do NOT condone BREAKING THE LAW in any way, shape or form or bringing HARM TO ANY NON-CONSENTING PERSONS OR ANIMALS. Nor am I promoting ILLEGAL SUBSTANCE USE, RECKLESS or SELF-INJURIOUS BEHAVIOR.


NOTHING WRITTEN BELOW IS MEANT IN ANY WAY TO ACCUSE AND/OR SHAME INDIVIDUALS OR GROUPS as this is for reference and any similarity to persons living or dead, including the compiler of this list, the present reader, and Big Brother ARE PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

Read and/or use at your own risk, but please do not read if you just want to rage post about how triggering this was.
The paraphilias listed correspond to the ego qualities of each shell, not good nor bad in and of themselves. Ego wants stem from ego fears, and ego fears stem from ego wants. As I’ve referenced before in other posts, the shells need nourishment to protect the spheres, but when they are over nourished, they become fortresses characterized by ego fears. Most of the time we know what we need to do to reset this balance. But there is a belief rampant among mystics in Thelema that preach egolessness, causing confusion as to whether all nourishment of the ego is negative. When the ego is under or overnourished, the individual begins acquiring negative karma.

“Feeling at peace, however fragily, made it easy to slip into the visionary end of the dark-sight. The rose shadows said that they loved the sun, but that they also loved the dark, where their roots grew through the lightless mystery of the earth. The roses said, ‘You do not have to choose.”

Now that you have read this full disclaimer and intro here is the actual PDF: Trigger Warning

Experimental Enochian


On the Hebrew Alphabet and it’s experimental relation to the Enochian system;


The microposopus being a smaller model of the macroposopus, (and the macroposopus/microposopus being the entirety of 22 parts/letters of the Hebrew Alphabet), are both described as The Holy Temple – encompassing within it all parts of the human, including the universe as the microcosm; and all parts of the universe, including man as the microcosm.

In Western Hermetic Tradition, one learns this relation by beginning his understanding and utilizing the function of each part within his microcosm. That which transmutes to perfection in himself is reflected outwardly in the universe; and his own being is similarly affected and willed by the inertia of the universe, creating a everlasting but ongoing unity between his microcosm and the macrocosm. By his act of initiating the Great Work in himself, he is aided by the universe itself.

Once he becomes a Master of the Holy Temple that is his microcosm, he then has the potential to be the inertia for the Great Work of the macrocosm; it is he who does God’s Will and aids in the perpetual manifestation of the Great Work of the universe.

The 22 Hebrew Letters are categorized into 3 Mother Letters, the 7 Double Letters, and the 12 Single Letters.

The 3 Mother Letters (Aleph, Mem, Shin) is the Altar of Incense within The Holy Temple, representing the Trinity of God, Son, and the Holy Spirit, as well as the Alchemical principles of Mercury, Salt, and Sulfur, various other trinities/combinations and the primordial base elements from which the universe itself is created of.

The 3 Mother Letters also represent the 3 holy god names derived from the central horizontal line of each Elemental Watchtower. The Kings of the Watchtower cannot be invoked without first invoking the Gods of each. Shin written with four prongs instead of three symbolizes the revealing of the three primary forces/gods/God into four forces; the elements represented in each of the four limbs of the microposopus/pentagram. The Enochian equivalent of the Mother Letters are: UN, TAL, and GISG.

There are 21 Letters of the Enochian alphabet which can be divided into 3 groups of seven.

UN – Aleph – Alpha: ASMODEL+Amissio, KEDEMEL/VENUS in Taurus.
Symbolizes; The root of time, beginning. The Fool. (Value: 6)
PA, VEH, GED, NA-HATH, UR, DON. (Total value: 122- in Hebrew Gem. translated to     “Emanated from”)

TAL – Mem – Mu: CAMBRIEL+Tristitia, ZAZIEL/SATURN in Aquarius.
Symbolizes; The root of knowledge, awareness, perception, consciousness. The Hanged Man. (Value: 8)
GAL, GON, GER, DRUX, MED, CEPH. (Total value: 271- in H.G. “Earth”)

GISG – Shin – Tau: HISMAEL+KEDEMEL in all their ideas, being a figure of Caput Draconis.
Symbolizes; The root of balance. The Aeon. (Value: 300)
OR, GRAPH, MALS, PAL, VAN, FAM. (Total value: 702- in H.G. “Fire and Water; to be     mixed; mingled.”)

A few curious experimental/coincidental correspondences: the values of all three Letters add up to 314; in Hebrew Gematria (H.G.), equivalent to MTTRVN, and ShDI, “The Almighty,” (and possibly indicative of 3.14 = pi).

300 (GISG-Shin) / 6 (UN-Aleph) = 50 (DRUX-Nun). Shin is spelled Shin-Yod-Nun(Final); The letter Yod is the top flame that when prolonged, descends into the earth as a final Nun, the Earth (the fish/seed that swims in the waters of creation/embryonic fluid). Shin, being the Divine Flame and root of all Will, is dispersed through Aleph, or Air, which serves as the motion and currents by which all processes can occur.

6 (UN-Aleph) x 8 (TAL-Mem) = 48, the number of Enochian Keys, (the 19th calling forth the 30 Aethyrs). This is representative of the Keys being an exploration of the timeless and ultra-conscious realms of the waters – The Fool exploring the depths of where the Hanged Man is yet to fall into.

[ (300 x 8)/6 ] = 400 (Tav), and the Enochian equiv. of Tav = VAN; Saturn in Capricorn, the root of Light and Darkness. The Universe. Here is the story of creation (and the art of maintaining creation): The Marriage and Multiplication of Fire and Water, projected by the Etheric forces over time creates and continues the existence of the Universe.

Because there are only 21 letters of the Enochian alphabet, there is no Teth/Theta equivalent. Teth is attributed to Atu XI; Lust – Whether this means that the Enochian system and revelations to Dee were “from the ‘Serpent'” or that the revelations themselves are all perfectly contained in Atu XI, or that there is simply “no need” for the card is up to the magician.

I decided to move forward from Crowley’s Tarot rather than dismiss its attributions as simply ‘another paradigm’ due to the fact that Thelema (and more specifically, the A.’.A.’. system) has some curious fundamental connections to the Enochian system. Keeping in mind that this entire essay is just an exercise in syncretism and not to be taken as truth, allow me to keep going.

Excerpts from Crowley’s Book of Thoth:

This trump was formerly called Strength. But it implies far more than strength in the ordinary sense of the word. Technical analysis shows that the Path corresponding to the card is not the Strength of Geburah, but the influence from Chesed [GDVLH] upon Geburah, the Path balanced both vertically and horizontally on the Tree of Life. For this reason it has been thought better to change the traditional title. Lust implies not only strength, but the joy of strength exercised. It is vigour, and the rapture of viguor. […]
This Trump is assigned to the sign of Leo in the Zodiac. It is the Kerub of Fire, and is ruled by the Sun. It is the most powerful of the twelve Zodiacal cards, and represents the most critical of all operations of magick and of alchemy. It represents the act of the original marriage as it occurs in nature, as opposed to the more artificial form portrayed in Atu VI; there is in this card no attempt to direct the course of the operation. […]”

In the Enochian Tarot, the letter representing Atu VI (The Lovers) has a value equal to that of Atu VII (The Chariot). The letter NA-HATH, which is attributed to Atu VII is also one of the highest representative attributions for the element Air; (‘instead of’ path 11 of the 11,23,31, 32-bis and 31-bis from the Tree of Life, the fixed zodiacal attribution of Aquarius, the Kerub of man, the magical weapon of the Dagger, the Suit of Swords, and scire as the Power of the Sphinx). It may seem like a lot of associations to throw out, but in fact there is no need to dismiss them; they are simply elaborated upon further and more consistent to the planes of Atziluth and Briah than of Yetzirah and Assiah. For the sake of simplicity and to avoid confusion, I write “instead of” to indicate a description of the universe that transcends the well-known associations to the elements, zodiac, and planets.

If we take by analogy Atu VI = Atu VII (due to their values in the Enochian alphabet), then The Lovers here are not simply The Lovers from the Thoth Deck, but are significantly equated with The Chariot. Therefore, Atu VI in the Enochian Tarot is not representative of a “more artificial form (of Atu XI)” and due to the nature of The Chariot: “…the scarlet wheels represent the original energy of Geburah which causes the revolving motion….[The Charioteer] is throned in the chariot rather than conducting it, because the whole system of progression is perfectly balanced. His only function is the bear the Holy Grail…,” Atu VI here does not “attempt to direct the course of the operation.”

“…In this card, therefore, appears the legend of the woman and the lion, or rather lion-serpent. The seers in the early days of the Aeon of Osiris foresaw the Manifestation of this coming Aeon [of Aquarius and Leo] in which we now live, and they regarded it with intense horror and fear, not understanding the procession of the Aeons, and regarding every change as a catastrophe. This is the real interpretation of, and the reason for, the diatribes against the Beast and Scarlet Woman in the XIII, XVII and XVIII-th chapters of the Apocalypse; but on the Tree of Life, the path of Gimel, the Moon, descending from the highest, cuts the path of Teth, Leo, the House of the Sun, so that the Woman in the card may be regarded as a form of the Moon, very fully illuminated by the Sun, and intimately united with him in such wise as to produce, incarnate in human form, the representative or representatives of the Lord of the Aeon.”

The correlation between the Enochian system and the Revelations/chapters of the Apocalypse should be clear and need not elaboration. This seems to suggest that the information that Dee received was a mixture of all Aeons (or Aeon-less), possibly even those not yet explicitly foretold.

There is a Beast and Babalon for all parts of the earth, separated in four parts, and each part supervised by a Horseman. Every Watchtower of the four corners of the Great Tablet contains 156 squares, and the Sun lies in the middle of each, from which reading the letters in a spiral fashion like the solar current, provides the name of the King of each Element.

The Moon in all her forms, as a planet or Atu in the Enochian system is always Full even while decreasing in any given sign. She reflects the full light of the Sun as seen in the fourth form of the enneagram of the Golden Dawn:


“She rides astride the Beast; in her left hand she holds the reins, representing the passion which unites them. In her right she holds aloft a cup, the Holy Grail aflame with love and death. In this cup are mingled the elements of the sacrament of the Aeon.


…This card portrays the will of the Aeon. […] This sacrament is the physical-magical formula for attaining initiation, for the accomplishment of the Great Work. It is in alchemy the process of distillation, operated by internal ferment, and the influence of the Sun and Moon.

Behind the figures of the Beast and his Bride are ten luminous rayed circles; they are the Sephiroth latent and not yet in order, for every new Aeon demands a new system of classification of the Universe. At the top of the card is shown an emblem of new light, with ten horns of the Beast, which are serpents, sent forth in every direction to destroy and re-create the world.”

The Enochian Tarot, therefore would be not merely a classification of the Universe according to each Aeon that arises, but a timeless description that helps deliver the Wisdom to each Aeon that may come.

This Atu; 11 being the number of magick in many different ways (5+6; the microposopus/pentagram uniting with the macroposopus/hexagram, 7+4; the Sigil of Babalon uniting with the Tetragrammaton, etc.) all describe processes in which the Great Work is to be accomplished. One equation worth noting is the 3+8:


Keeping these Comments in mind; the Enochian equivalent of Daleth is GAL attributed to the archetypal element of Spirit and Atu III; The Empress. Atu V; The Hierophant, is attributed to Enochian equivalent of Vav: the letter OR, has the same value of VEH (Kaph – Atu X), the archetypal element of Fire. Using the same analogy of Atu VI = Atu VIII as done above, we have HADIT being the union of The Empress (Spirit) and The Hierophant (Fire).
Note in the Old Comment for AL II.16 the reference to VIII being XI. Atu VIII; The Chariot (Enochian letter NA-HATH, once more) is ABRAHADABRA; the Work of Hadit (Spirit-Fire), in its entirety, the function of archetypal Air (Aleph as the Hebrew mother letter) to which NA-HATH is attributed. A further congruence is that the Enochian letters representing The Empress and The Hierophant mean “the root of all potential” and “the root of manifestation.” Therefore, HADIT/ABRAHADABRA is potential united with manifestation.


“We shall find in this ‘Filing Cabinet’ a means of GETTING RID of a great many IDEAS which have been valueless on account of their unbalanced nature, and this, not by means of suppression – which forms complexes – but by careful arrangement, thus setting our minds in Order and by Balancing these ideas against their Opposites, leaving the Mind in a state which transcends both aspects, thus gradually regaining our lost EQUILIBRIUM which is the BASIS of the WORK.”

“The NINETEENTH Path from Netzach to Tiphareth (the Sphere of the SUN) is Strength = Teth = Leo which is RULED by the SUN. (Note the Lion of the Sun or Leo and the Woman of Venus = Netzach.”

If we compare the same path in both systems, we see that in Crowley’s Tree of Life, Teth-Leo connects Tiphareth to Geburah; in Achad’s Tree of Life, Teth-Leo connects Tiphareth to Netzach. Achad’s path is labeled Nun – Scorpio (Atu XIII) in Crowley’s system, and Crowley’s path is labeled Heh-Aries (Atu IV) in Achad’s.


0. The ends justify the means, but the ends have no ends! The means justify the ends, but the ends don’t exist anymore.

I. Both the ends and the means justify the ends; every means being an end in itself.

II. For the assimilation of theurgy & thaumaturgy, just like the ends and the means, the practitioner must perform every act of thaumaturgy for the sake of theurgy.

III. The nature of theurgy expediates and burns the karma of the practitioner, from which thaumaturgy are his tools and in union with natural forces; he himself is a vector of the macrocosmic will while simultaneously affecting the macrocosmic will from his vector as microcosmic will.

IV. The theurgist, whose microcosmic capacity in his limited lifetime and physical manifestation of macrocosmic will is restricted to his lifetime and physical manifestation of macrocosmic will, is prone to an early physical death.

  1. His macrocosmic work as this restricted manifestation has a limit which propels his being (which has been solve-d and coagula-ed in the form of the white lion and red eagle; his sulfur = his mercury; his soul/spirit has actually reached Nirvana/Moksha and it is his salt which must now transmute) to reincarnate/physically die.
  2. His microcosmic work/the imprint of his being is reincarnated and scattered among the universe in order to progress the Aeon, and aid the macrocosmic will.
  3. What happens to his body (salt) needs no further clarification.

V. Enlightened theurgists, therefore both reincarnate and reach Nirvana; the theurgist’s microcosmic will (which is not separated from his soul/spirit), has reached peace in the macrocosmic will – but part of the macrocosmic will is for the reincarnation of microcosmic wills.

VI. To avoid an early physical death as a theurgist, there are two options – doing magick really slowly or retire in magick and utilize prayer.

VII. Prayer is the disconnecting and surrendering of the microcosmic will entirely as a part for the microcosmic will. He is throned in the chariot rather than conducting it, because the whole system of progression is perfectly balanced. (As opposed to magick being the interplay between microcosmic and macrocosmic will; it is a rhythm of active/passive for both – conducting and riding).

VIII. Time stops during prayer; time speeds up with magick. Magi who retire to seemingly exoteric religions are not doing so for the idea of salvation, but for equilibration of micro/macrocosmic will.

IX. These magi usually withdraw from their “normal lives” and seem to have abandoned the Great Work entirely – when in fact they have become the Word/universal will, unspoken and secret.

X. His fate is now incalculable; luck is the remnant of design and all that he can witness is the design.

XI. This is the part where Faust chases and sleeps with Gretchen; his moment of transcendence that seals over his fate to Mephistopheles. In the movie Lesson Faust, this is the part where Faust seduces and sleeps with the life-sized puppet of Helen of Troy, before he finds out it was Mephisto in disguise. The macrocosmic seed/Word has been spoken, impregnating the Scarlet Woman with the Will of the Aeon. The magus’s fate is sealed once more in the promulgation of his microcosmic will, and the clock resumes ticking.

XII. Faust’s newly acquired despair & the infanticide of their child by Gretchen; in the movie being the drowning of the Court because they didn’t like his magick powers.

XIII. The magus/theurgist/practitioner dies for the last time, his clock having run out.

On Enemies and Hate

I find it interesting that sometimes, the person we would like to be is often contradictory to the ideals we have for ourselves in the present – and if we are honest, we would usually like to be the people whom qualities we hate. I think this occurs because that which we hate, we hate as aspects within our selves that we have been conditioned to hate, and somewhere deep inside of us we would like to undo that conditioning and just be. It means having that option back, to be whatever we wanted to be, before we resented ourselves for trying to conform with whatever law that was introduced to us.

However, it is this resentment pressing into our self-concepts that fuels the desire to unite; it reminds us of the evil of separation, but without the nature of separation we would not be conscious of the joy of union.

Lamentations III:52 = 777. “They have chased me sore like a bird, that are mine enemies without cause.”

“It is easy enough to be friendly to one’s friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion. The other is mere business.”

Attachment to Existence

We grow an attachment to our own sense of life, with it, our sense of self; the ego must exist for survival, but the metaphysics of the ego are only constructive for our sanity.

What is existence? Something that must relate cohesively to something else. Do ‘I’ exist? The I is the ego and it serves it’s functions, so yes – There can be no separation, i.e. to ask whether the ‘I’ exists without me, it cannot because it is a constant and crucial part to the concept of ‘me’ anyway. Words are defined with more words; hence a language exists but the words are the constructs and exist insofar as they contribute to language.

I went everywhere and nowhere and all along I just remained.

Journeys and Friends

In regards to scrying vs. traveling through the Aethyrs (along with the difference between evokation and invokation), the magickian whom scrys or calls upon the Aethyrs without having developed his Khu, is limited by his Khu. It is the Khu that must attain mastery of itself in order to travel. The Khabs is under no such constrants; it can permeate all Aethyrs (as that is where its from). 

Just as evokation is the arousal of a part of the microcosm within the microcosm, scrying the Aethyrs is the exploration of the macrocosm within the microcosm.

 Invokation being the drawing upon the macrocosm into the microcosm; traveling through the Aethyrs is the microcosm exploring the macrocosm.


Emotional (and physical) pruritus; another balance to be sought–pain is so often times intense and brief that one finds humor in the situation more quickly than a drawn-out instance of itch, or boredom. These sensations are one in the same, and also the opposite of one another; the only remedy for either is by quieting the mind and detaching significance from the body. Life is suffering; both painful and boring, and humans have long since admired tragedy and drama as counter-measures. What is ingeniusly ironic is that the act of enjoying a tragedy brings evokes suffering within one’s self; it reaffirms one’s own existence and allows the individual to acknowledge their own frailty.

Catharsis works the same way as medicines do; in small amounts, a poison is a poison. In large amounts of poison, the structure is apparent; the cure is within the poison to be extracted and synthesized from in order to produce a beneficial effect. The key to catharsis is in suffering itself, and the nature of suffering is that of existence.

To perceive Joy as merely occurring during times of good health, or favorable events is to misconstrue it. The individual is only busy, their mental capabilities occupied, distracted, and their brain releases chemicals that tell it that it’s happy. The nature of Joy is that it has the potential to be present all the time, and it only depends upon the individual to allow themselves to experience it. Happiness is being completely in the present moment, regardless of the situation, without emotional attachment.