Hate Sex


I BRUISED your body with the whip
Its wheals stand out in ridgéd azure.
The savage blood upon your lip
Images hurt, and hurt’s erasure.

The pain transmuted into passion;
And passion.s ruin was not pain;
But my pain wears another fashion;
My dead men do not rise again.

You hurt me, and the silent skin
Whispers no word of bleeding bruises;
Your subtle hate, your cunning skin
Brands and corrodes me where it chooses

I fear not them that kill the body,
But rather them that hurt the soul:
My soul with your disdain is bloody;
Your stripes are none to make me whole.

Could you but see my vitals torn,
My nerves on rack, my tortured spirit.
Of all the ills to mortals born
This is the sorest to inherit.

If you could see the branded token
Of your invisible whip, the scars
Of your intangible knife, the unspoken
Agonies, silent as the stars!

Then you should count the agéd lines
That wrinkle up my boy’s blithe beauty:.
The Judge of all the Earth divines
My wrongs and yours, and does his duty.

For you in heaven shall bloom and burgeon,
And I in hell shall howl and groan.
Ah! God is an unskilful surgeon;
We both shall weep to be alone!

For we are one and may not part;
And though we hurt, we love, believe me!
Nor would I in my inmost heart
Of one of all your stabs bereave me.

No man can hurt the indifferent stranger,
No woman wound the casual friend.
There is a glory born of danger;
What anger gat, desire may end.

Give me the phrenzy of your lip!
My heart accepts your usurpature.
Your body leaps beneath the whip;
Our pain is in love’s very nature.

It is enough. The woe is over,
The woe begins; the vial brims,
And all the anguish of your lover
And you is hidden in wrestling limbs.

Drain the black cup of bruiséd blood!
Its bitter shall beget devotion,
And Bacchus sweep its frenzied flood
Into the Eleusinian ocean!

Elaboration upon the dualities of Love and Hate:

These two emotions are not actually opposites in the normal sense, since the opposite of both love and hate are indifference; both love and hate are on the extreme end of the emotional scale itself. Love is the acknowledgement and acceptance of both parts Beast/Babalon within another person. It is a constant balancing effort on both parts within the self, and with another, which if genuine, is the perfect balance of pleasure for the ego/Beast and non-ego/Babalon. Hence, Love under Will. Hate occurs when there is an imbalance; if regarding the Beast/Babalon within one’s self, this hate is directed inwards. When there is an imbalance regarding another person, this hate is directed at them. Most people will react in anger, perhaps even hate, towards the external trigger which does not do anything but show the internal imbalance there was, prior to the trigger. If there was no imbalance present, there would not have been any defensive reaction.

“Love” and “hate” both require some level of attachment to that which is the target of our emotions. The difference being that Love contains both the Will to Live/Dove/henosis/(development of Babalon and self-sacrifice of the Beast in order to accept another’s Beast) and the Will to Die/Serpent/apotheosis/(development of Beast and suppression of Babalon in order to be consumed by another’s Babalon).

Hate directed at a person drives us to get away from them as far as possible, because the nature of the Beast is fueled by ego. It is undesirable for a sensitive/developed ego to be poked at; more specifically, the individual’s ego is recognizing itself in another, and attempting to compete. If given a worthy enough challenge, the ego will either be required to submit (die) or recognize the futility of its efforts and also die. There is nothing more provoking nor fearful for the ego than the death of itself. Therefore, external hate usually occurs if one person’s Will to Die comes into conflict with another’s Will to Die. Beast vs Beast. A forced reflection upon the ego where the only escape is death either way–the progression into the Right Hand Path for balance.

Hate which occurs internally is due to a misalignment in Will and Action; this is usually due to external oppression of the individual’s Beast, which leads the ego to attack itself. It is not a true development of one’s Babalon, and the individual will most likely require a lot of Left Hand Path workings before finding his/her way to achieve balance.

The nature of sex is always an interplay of the permutations between Beast and Babalon, and results in death. From these two dynamics also comes an odd mixture of pleasure: the Babalon in one person gets along with the Babalon with another; the nature of Babalon/Nuit is passive, accepting, and all-encompassing. If two people are Babalon-dominant, there is no need for sex. Metaphorically speaking, they are neither alive nor dead and therefore have no inclination to die. This is why it is important to emphasize that Babalon =/= women and Beast =/= men. When two women have sex, they either take turns unleashing their Beast, or one woman has a inclination towards Beast, and the other towards Babalon. However, when two separate (worthy and equal) Beasts meet and are unable to escape, they will fight and suffer–but also seek to die together; in other words, they have hate-sex. There comes a time when both see the futility of their actions and decide that the only way to achieve joy together is to surrender together.

The frustration that arises with any energy-expending battle can easily be transformed into sexual tension. The attraction is not always due to physical appearance, since the attraction itself is from the fact that both Beasts have been forced to surrender, causing them to seek each other for pleasure.

Usually, hate-sex happens when one Beast is able to recognize the power of the other, or in momentary stalemates instead of the end of the battle. The acknowledgement of one Beast from another is what is labeled “sexy;” it is the awareness that the other person has within them, the potential to kill the individual’s ego. Nowadays, society has brainwashed people into accepting an image/form of what’s sexy, causing a reinforcement loop within their minds so concrete that when one asks someone what they believe to be sexy, they can only explain through prescribed imagery. Prescribed imagery, if never questioned, will never allow the individual to see beyond their social accretions.

I.N.R.I. Easter Edition


This is the Holy Hexagram.
Plunge from the height, O God, and interlock with Man!
Plunge from the height, O Man, and interlock with Beast!
The Red Triangle is the desceding tongue of grade;
the Blue Triangle is the ascending tongue of prayer.
This Interchange, the Double Gift of Tongues, the
Word of Double Power—ABRAHADABRA!—is
the sign of the GREAT WORK, for the GREAT WORK is accomplished in Silence. And behold is
not that Word equal to Cheth, that is Cancer,
whose Sigil is [Cancer]?
This Work also eats up itself, accomplishes its own
end, nourishes the worker, leaves no seed, is perfect in itself.

Little children, love one another!

In the spirit of Easter, Christian mysticism, the alchemical/Qabalistic formula of I.N.R.I, and the late-night rereading of Wake World, I’ve decided to write this brief essay:

I. N. R. I. = Yod – Nun – Resh – Yod
= Igne Natura Renovatur Integra.
“Through fire, nature is reborn whole.”

I, Yod, Igne; 10. Hand (which brings forth the seed), Fire (which manifests as Will), Virgo/Isis/Mighty Mother, “Yod = Phallus = Spermatozoon = Hand = Logos = Virgin.” IX. The Hermit. Partzuf of ChKMH-73.

N, Nun, Natura; 50. Fish (seed which swims in the Womb, the Serpent, the Vesica), Scorpio/Apophis/Destroyer, XIII. Death, the alchemical stage of putrefaction, earth/nature/the natural process.

R, Resh, Renovatur; 200. Sun (Son, Light-Bringer/Lucifer), Sol/Osiris/Slain & Risen, Renewal, XIX. The Sun. Partzuf of TPART-1,081.

I, (Same as above), Integra; the integration, completion, wholeness of.

The “three days” it takes YHShVH to “rise from the dead” I think, is symbolic of the three paths Nun, Samekh, and Ayin, which pass the Veil of PRKTh. The vision of TPART from MLKVT through the Veil is of the misunderstood Pan Pangenetor, (causing people mixing up Lucifer for “Satan).”

It was midnight and the Devil came down and sat in the midst; but my Fairy Prince whispered: ‘Hush! it is a great secret, but his name is YHShVH, and he is the Saviour of the World. (Via ayin v. Oculus).

Using Lola Daydream as my Jesus today – she begins as Yod; the Virgin of the Universe/the path of the Hermit, having come forth through the Eye/Ayin, the path of the Devil. Nun is the attributed path of Death. Resh, instead of the path of Resh, is the sephira TPART, the tomb of C. Rosenkreuz, and the last Yod symbolizing this entire alchemical process (Integra), the path of Samekh, and also the momentum of her progress upwards toward divinity, or in this case the momentum to complete the circle/rose drawn with the cross in the Rosy Cross Ritual, meeting the Devil once more but without the Veil; K&C of the HGA.

In this process is also the LAShTAL formula; before beginning the circle a little after the path of The Hermit, this is only made possible from the powers of LA/potential, symbolized here by Atu VIII. Adjustment. Shin-Teth is the entire motion, its attributions relating to Resh and Nun. AL is both the Devil and the HGA – Fire & Completion.
The formula T.A.R.O., if drawn according to the paths of the Tree of Life in front of you, makes a huge spiral in the opposite direction, encompassing the circle from the paths around TPART which not only appear to balance each other out, but T.A.R.O. being LVX in extension, (extension which shines through the Eye/Ayin in combination with Adjustment) sets up Lola’s “three-day” resurrection.

So never mind! let me go on. We came by and by to the Sixth House. I forgot to say that all those three paths were really one, because they all meant that things were different inside to outside, and so people couldn’t judge. (Domus VI v. Pulchritudo).

A Breath of Fresh Air

Meditation in full-lotus position, facing East. Simple 4-count diaphragmatic breath control inhalation (life) and 4-count breath exhalation (death), after giving fellatio and consuming the sacred seed.

Fellatio in itself is as much of a meditation as holding one’s form in a particular asana, with an additional layer of Motion/awareness necessary to respond naturally to the incoming flow of pleasure from the recipient. There is no active thought, only uninhibited response to the other person’s body. The mind must relax, for otherwise it causes the body to panic, to tire, to be irritable, and suffer through lust of result.

After his orgasm, I let my mind slip deeper into a state of my subconscious, the previous Motion/awareness continuing but now having been swallowed, it continued within me. My Motion was dependent on his; his dependent upon mine; and his seed was the combined physical manifestation of both him and I, that now found refuge in me where it had came from him. All Union is an act of both life and death; the Motion combined has only found a new Form. The meditation allowed me to experience this Motion while sitting Still, synchronizing my inhalations and exhalations with the rhythm of him in me; me in him; us in Union; us in Nothing.

Serpent & Dove

AL I:57: “Invoke me under my stars! Love is the law, love under will. Nor let the fools mistake love; for there are love and love. There is the dove, and there is the serpent. Choose ye well! He, my prophet, hath chosen, knowing the law of the fortress, and the great mystery of the House of God.

All these old letters of my Book are aright; but * is not the Star. This also is secret: my prophet shall reveal it to the wise.”
{*In MS, a mark in this place is commonly read as the Hebrew letter Tzaddi.}

The Old Comment
57. “Invoke me” etc. I take literally. See Liber NV for this ritual.
Love under will — no casual pagan love; not love under fear, as the Christians do. But love magically directed and used as a spiritual formula.

The fools (not here implying {Aleph} fools, for III, 57, says, All fools despise) may mistake.
This love, then, should be the serpent love, the awakening of the Kundalini. The further mystery is of {Pe} and unsuited to the grade in which this comment is written.
The last paragraph confirms the Tarot attributions as given in 777, with one secret exception.

“These represent the two forms of desire; the Will to Live and the Will to Die. They represent the feminine and masculine impulses; the nobility of the latter is possibly based upon recognition of the futility of the former.”

The House of God: The Jews call nothing אין: nothing and נוה: home. Nuit calls nothing eight (Bet = house), eighty (House of God), four hundred & eighteen (House 418, Het), which point to the three traditional orders represented by the three triads of the Tree of Life: the Order of the Silver Star (8-The Magus), the Order of the Golden Dawn (80-The Tower), and the Royal College of the Rosy Cross (418-The Chariot).

All four numbers, 61 • 8 • 80 • 418, are united in their meaning. They all mean ‘house’. They are gate houses to the palace of four gates, given in 220,1:51.

The first three of the four major ordeals open each of the first three gates in turn. (Silver-Yesod, Gold-Tiphareth, Stones of Precious Water-Binah, Sparks of Intimate Fire-Kether). However, the fourth ordeal, the Ordeal A, which is the ordeal of the Ipsissimus, being a summation of the three previous ordeals, opens all four gates at once.

Dona Virginis


[ Waxing Cresent ] The first day, a camel;
The second day, a kiss;
The third daty, a star-glass;
The fourth day, a beetle’s wing;
The fifth day, a crab;
[ 1st Quarter-Moon ] The sixth day, a bow;
The seventh day, a quiver;
The eighth day, a stag;
The ninth day, an horn;
The tenth day, a sandal of silver;
The eleventh day, a silver box of white sandal wood;
The twelfth day, a whisper;
[ Full ] The thirteenth day, a black cat;
[ Full ] The fourteenth day, a phial of white gold;
[ Full] The fifteenth day, an egg-shell cut in two;
The sixteenth day, a glance;
The seventeenth day, an honeycomb;
The eighteenth day, a dream;
The nineteenth day, a nightmare;
The twentieth day, a wolf, black-muzzled;
[ 2nd Quarter-Moon/Period Begins ] The twenty-first day, a sorrow;
The twenty-second day, a bundle of herbs;
The twenty-third day, a piece of camphor;
The twenty-fourth day, a moonstone;
The twenty-fifth day, a sigh;
[ Waning Cresent ] The twenty-sixth day, a refusal;
[ New Moon/End of Period ]The twenty-seventh day, a consent ; and the last night she gave him all herself, so that the moon was eclipsed and earth was utterly darkened.

“In the Mystery of the Serpent and the Lion, the mixing of the Vaginal fluid and the Semen is the moment of communion and the Eucharist is created. Each night of the Moon offers a different Kala which will flavor the magick. 14 for the Waxing, 14 for the Waning. Orb of the Full Moon (3 nights) for Creation, Orb of the New Moon for Destruction. One for the Talisman, the other for the Amulet. The wise know the difference.”