Since November, a series of strange but fortunate events have followed. How to explain the details of the Abramelin Operation is beyond me. But my experiences I will now henceforth explain, slowly, over the course of many blog posts.

First, spelling during the Operation external is defunct while internally I am working hard to achieve the proper syntax in a sentence structure.

The formula by which one operates from dictates the pattern of sat-ananda-chit which revolves at each ticking of the clock. Freudian slips are therefore sometimes useful indicators of a positive attitude towards the acceptance of one’s own limitations. When, for instance, an individual blushes, at first glance we interpret embarrassment — not towards any one thing or another, for at that moment of apparition, the seed of the embarrassment is not conscious to the one blushing.

Time, therefore, is and always has been but a measurement of change.

Change, I have written about, to be understood in connection to the Major Arcana:

0. The ends justify the means, but the ends have no ends! The means justify the ends, but the ends don’t exist anymore.

I. Both the ends and the means justify the ends; every means being an end in itself.

II. For the assimilation of theurgy & thaumaturgy, just like the ends and the means, the practitioner must perform every act of thaumaturgy for the sake of theurgy.

III. The nature of theurgy expediates and burns the karma of the practitioner, from which thaumaturgy are his tools and in union with natural forces; he himself is a vector of the macrocosmic will while simultaneously affecting the macrocosmic will from his vector as microcosmic will.

IV. The theurgist, whose microcosmic capacity in his limited lifetime and physical manifestation of macrocosmic will is restricted to his lifetime and physical manifestation of macrocosmic will, is prone to an early physical death.

  1. His macrocosmic work as this restricted manifestation has a limit which propels his being (which has been solve-d and coagula-ed in the form of the white lion and red eagle; his sulfur = his mercury; his soul/spirit has actually reached Nirvana/Moksha and it is his salt which must now transmute) to be reborn.
  2. His microcosmic work/the imprint of his being is reincarnated and scattered among the universe in order to progress the Aeon, and aid the macrocosmic will.
  3. What happens to his salt, or physical body, involves a three-in-one collaboration (for salt is divided into three parts unto itself: Heaven, Earth, and the Firmament in which the operation of the Magick of Light may be performed).

V. Enlightened theurgists, therefore both reincarnate and reach Nirvana; the theurgist’s microcosmic will (which is not separated from his soul/spirit), has reached peace in the macrocosmic will – but part of the macrocosmic will is for the reincarnation of microcosmic wills.

VI. To avoid an early physical death as a theurgist, there are two options – doing magick really slowly or retire in magick and utilize prayer.
VII. Prayer is the disconnecting and surrendering of the microcosmic will entirely as a part for the microcosmic will. He is throned in the chariot rather than conducting it, because the whole system of progression is perfectly balanced. (As opposed to magick being the interplay between microcosmic and macrocosmic will; it is a rhythm of active/passive for both – conducting and riding).

VIII. Time stops during prayer; time speeds up with magick. Magi who retire to seemingly exoteric religions are not doing so for the idea of salvation, but for equilibration of micro/macrocosmic will.

IX. These magi usually withdraw from their “normal lives” and seem to have abandoned the Great Work entirely – when in fact they have become the Word/universal will, unspoken and secret.

X. His fate is now incalculable; luck is the remnant of design and all that he can witness is the design.

XI. (This is the part where Faust chases and sleeps with Gretchen; his moment of transcendence that seals over his fate to Mephistopheles. In the movie, this is the part where Faust seduces and sleeps with the life-sized puppet of Helen of Troy, before he finds out it was Mephisto in disguise. The macrocosmic seed/Word has been spoken, impregnating the Scarlet Woman with the Will of the Aeon.) The magus’s fate is sealed once more in the promulgation of his microcosmic will, and the clock resumes ticking.

XII. (Faust’s newly acquired despair & the infanticide of their child by Gretchen; in the movie being the drowning of the Court because they didn’t like his magick powers).

XIII. The magus/theurgist/practitioner dies for the “last” time, his clock having run out.

XIV. The art of dying consists of: one’s mind separating from one’s body, while the individual’s soul (cardinal, or sulfuric component) ignites a carefully and well-planned combustion within the firmament to unite the two halves of the alchemical being.

XV. This alchemical being, being part beast, will appear in a variety of forms, both animal, human, and divine.

XVI. The true form of oneself appears only when all said forms are assimilated and then rejected, for any attachment to the image results in the death of yet another aspect of self.

XVII. Thus consecrated, the purification of the spirit, soul, and body as one occurs.

XVIII. The shadow of the consecrated and purified individual must be tamed and integrated with the proper amount of tender loving care from the right sources; “look to the moon until you can see the sun.”

XIX. “There is no dread hereafter . . .”

XX. Everything changes after the rejoicing of both Night and Day.

XXI. This change is the birth of a universe of ideas.

Ancestral Veneration 

I have decided that there must be reconciliation for the current concept of the individual regarding the death of the many parts of himself in this life. I believe in reincarnation in regards to parts of the soul which need it, and that this happens on a microcosmic scale while we are living. After all, the Invokation of the “Bornless” (Head-less) One before the evokation of the Goetia is a bringing forth of the archetype of the “be-headed” King and Queen in the Chymical Wedding, of the myth of Osiris, etc. This is an archetype of the Higher Self, the HGA which commands the “dead” parts of us (shells of the personal unconscious, spirits of the Goetia) to rise and be guided under Will. There appears a literal connection to these ideas and that of the old depictions of Atu XX; the dead rising from their tombs and are given eternal life.

I’ve looked forward so much that I seem to have forgotten how I got here. There is an undeniable aspect of energy in ancestral workings (harnessed primarily for thaumaturgical purposes) but albeit powerful and has been dominant throughout the centuries.

To the theurgist, although all parts of the self end up in Sheol, they are either resurrected for the purposes of the Great Work, or abide as Qliphotic aspects of self which must continue to be rectified–both for our sake, and “theirs.” It is interesting that by understanding the microcosm in this manner, we understand that these aspects of our self contain in themselves a type of base consciousness; a persistence to exist and stubborness to attempt to avoid change or the death of itself.

This is essentially what our individual manifestations are to the macrocosm.

The aspects of self which are “righteous” i.e. in alignment with the True Will of the Individual, having been resurrected, can be interpreted to be living in Heaven/the Supernals/in Harmony with the All.

When we venerate our ancestors, we are acknowledging the continuation of the cycle and drawing forth all the energy of the transformations they’ve made throughout time, feeling the energy of the All propelling us forth into the Light. Therefore any progress made in the present is never ours, nor our ancestors, but the permutation of the One. 

Lux ex Tenebris

Comfort is not a substitute for faith. 

By “faith,” I mean knowledge of True Will; there is a tendency of the mind to separate “events which happen to us” with “events that we cause.” Without this disposition, we are unable to make sense of the world, but as we remember the nature of our true selves, we become aware of the appearance of separation itself. We are Will, and we do Will, and – “Every act that is not in definite course of that one orbit is erratic, an hindrance. Will must not be two, but one.” 

Trust is letting understanding show which colours to perceive, even with impure eyes. Even colours have natural complements of one another, and what is natural is merely consistent enough to rely on from experience. It is the acknowledgement of both the consistency and possibility of inconsistency in one’s own experience – and faith, being complete trust – is knowing this and being at peace with it. 

It is the ordeals of our own darkness which allow us to see a truth that what we once thought was faith or True Will, was merely comfort; fickle and expensive. Once the light is sought and seen, it does not leave us. We just have to remember it. Suffering becomes a reminder that we are only concealing it against ourselves, and that if we let it shine, it will.

Compassion for Self and Others

The ego shards, and the shells of the qliphoth, too must be nourished properly in order to protect the spheres. The process of alchemy is never a straight path; one must return again and again to refine the salt, and the same must be done with the shells. It is ALWAYS balance. To seek compassion for one’s ego is not negative, in and of itself. Like all things, context is what defines the proper means and ends.

Not everyone needs the same treatment, and the idea of treating everyone equally does not mean treat everyone the same. Some people need more love, and some appreciate harder challenges. 
Acting under Will requires that we think and make careful judgments about how we treat others. The shells need LVX just as the spheres do. The only evil comes from imbalance. Pathworking requires both the stripping of aspects of the ego and proper nourishment to purify the ego.

Love, in Regards to Kings

“II:58. Yea! deem not of change: ye shall be as ye are, & not other. Therefore the kings of the earth shall be Kings for ever; the slaves shall serve. There is none that shall be cast down or lifted up: all is ever as it was. Yet there are masked ones my servants: it may be that yonder beggar is a King. A King may choose his garment as he will: there is no certain test: but a beggar cannot hide his poverty.
59. Beware therefore! Love all, lest perchance is a King concealed! Say you so? Fool! If he be a King, thou canst not hurt him.
60. Therefore strike hard & low, and to hell with them, master!”

Being a King does not mean always concealing the ego so that the ego may never be attacked. It is part of the process of getting through the ordeals;

The important thing to remember is that even a fearful/reactionary response that arises due to these keys is a beneficial one; more beneficial than “feeling nothing,” which indicates that the individual is probably residing in the gateway of Da’ath and has become adept at being unaware of their own ego’s defense mechanism (indifference, apathy, dissociation with the ego for fear of being hurt).

The ego should be wounded from time to time in order to remind us that it does not constrict us; it reminds us of our mortality which is a part of life that should not be forgotten–but accepted, and made peace with.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. This is why the sign of every healthy relationship in which there is Love involved, also comes with the potential of being hurt, due to the vulnerability of the position of Receiving Love. If there are no arguments and no ego-hurt allowed, the individual is not capable at his/her full capacity of Giving Love. When we strive towards Unity from separation, the ego will always react in defense of this unity. Either you are giving up Love to conform to the ego, or you are surrendering your ego to Love.

People that posit, ‘I’m not hurt by you because I don’t care what you have to say,’ are reacting based on the ego’s defense mechanism of shielding itself from the potential of being destroyed in Unity. Not only is that an ego-judgement upon someone else (their ego), it is specifically stating that this person is ‘not worth caring about,’ and is in direct opposition to Loving that person. Similarly, it is a sign of false love to avoid arguments with ones you do love; those that love you back will understand that the attacker is always coming from the position of Love For You. Those that don’t love you back will perceive your attack as an attack to their ego by your ego.

“The fact of engagement demonstrates love. We ignore our enemies.”

The King is immortal in that he can always regenerate himself (his ego), and therefore does not fear intimacy or the possibility of being hurt; “he canst be hurt” means he is able to understand the nature of the illusory chains of ego, no matter how close and personal his combat is.

Above the Abyss, the HGA and ego are one; the magician realizes that although the ego is real and necessary, he is no longer chained to it, nor is he attached to whichever manifestation of ego is present.

Nothing ever works in a single, linear, and one-direction way. The King will therefore be more godly, and more human.


FREEDOM: a state of being capable of making decisions without external control.

LIBERTY: freedom which is granted to a people by external control.
The way I see it, it is not enough to say that all are free. Those that aware of the Law are aware of their Liberty. It is the Law which allows the individual to break free the chains of ignorance restricting his freedom by way of Love, Life, and Light – which in turn nourishes his Liberty.

Freedom being a state of being capable of making decisions without external control (real or perceived), it is safe to say not everyone is free, either due to physical/social issues or simply due to the fact that most people don’t realize there is no such thing as fairness or “external control.”

It is the Liberty from the Law which allows us to be truly Free. After all, the only thing keeping someone from “freedom” is themselves. The Law of Thelema liberates the Self FROM oneself.

Existentialism and Nihilism must be assimilated into Absurdism. Instead of celebrating Sisyphus’ “freedom” I celebrate the Joy from his cycle of futility AND meaning.

“To those of you who will begin, as I did, at an early age to be interested in creative effort, I have a word or two to say: Follow no one. Only you can lead yourself. Be open-minded and ready to reject every extraneous influence. Use your own. Talk is cheap; let others talk. Pay no attention to them or to me. Shun them and me with your self-discipline. Value your freedom from the shackles of the strait jacket. A rose is a rose regardless of its position on the bush. Approach your line of activity as an individual. Be independent. There is but one law to obey, the law of freedom: and obedience to that law is liberty.” (Samuel Aiwaz Jacobs)

Making Peace With Genders

The student of Thelema often jumps to the conclusion that they are hermaphroditic in thought, similar to disregarding the orthodox understandings of True Will before they seek to find their True Will. It serves no practical use for the aspirant to perceive himself as Baphomet before understanding the nature and powers of his own being. Hidden within his/her subconscious mind are often repressed emotions regarding the gender and sexual orientation he/she was prescribed early in childhood.

In objective reality there is no difference and this is made clear; every man and every woman is a star.

Within every star, there lies the same structure representing different parts of the mind and higher self; Man and Scarlet Woman reside in the ruach, their relationship symbolic of the self receving unconditional love and Desire from parents and learning how to exercise his/her reason from external experience, resulting in ethical understanding and Splendour from his environment. Both are equally complimentary, although presenting the first representative interplay of active/passive roles within the self. His/her Desire motivates his/her reason, and similarly his/her reason allows his/her growth of Splendour. The HGA at this developmental stage is still hidden to the student; the ego is what mediates the id and the superego.

With the transcendence beyond the Veil of Paroketh within the self comes also the chance for selection. The Beast is the conscious mind that contains the potential to select, block, and filter that which it seeks to manifest, hence his relation to Chaos. Babalon is the subconscious mind which has the potential to attract that which the Beast selects, given he has not constricted it himself with lust of result. She “gives her love freely to all men” meaning she is neutral in preference to all goals of the Beast. That which the conscious mind represses will seep into the subconscious, giving the appearance of Babalon as the source of emotion, the feminine aspect in life. 

Here is where the mundane man/woman receives the first mystery concerning the work of magick. If he/she is to exercise too much reason (666/2) then he/she inadvertently constricts the subconscious mind by anticipation, and his/her goal will not manifest until he/she de-localizes his/her mind by use of the Universal Solvent; gnosis. After he/she acquires Knowledge and Conversation with his/her HGA, True Will becomes the mediator between these two aspects of self.

The ultimate Joy is in the Beast’s surrender into Babalon; and this is portrayed by a man’s absolute trust and fragility towards his partner, she in accepting and loving him regardless of any and all accretions. She allows his Joy, and His Joy becomes Hers.

Although we are all one part Beast and one part Babalon, it is so often overlooked to acknowledge the reality of one’s own biological sex. It is self-evident that in reality there are two sexes but there are now a wider selection of genders. All genders and its prescribed sexual orientations are the result of social programming, unnatural but are deeply rooted in the ego due to early psychological reinforcement. The male is encouraged to perceive himself as a man, and the female is encouraged to perceive herself as a woman, which then leads to social prescribed sexual orientations. This is why it is difficult to strip the ego and our identification with gender. In order to achieve Knowledge and Conversation of the HGA, one must refine the ego by stripping it of all accretions and self-concepts. It is also dangeous to assume the position of absolute gender neutrality before taking the steps to resolve any subconscious restrictions that may arise during the Work.

It then becomes crucial to the development of True Will to surrender the ego–firstly by accepting the sex you were born with and its socially reinforced gender-roles and sexual orientation, second by understanding and embodying that function using the system of Thelema.

A man (that identifies with his biological sex) should strive to develop his Beast to find union with Babalon, and a woman (that identifies with her biological sex) should learn to surrender her Beast to embody Babalon.

The Thelemic structure of having Therion/Babalon, Hadit/Nuit is therefore clearly useful in utilizing the fundamental roles attributed to the two sexes. The goal of the aspirant therefore, is to transmute the societal gender roles into these transcendental Thelemic associations, firstly for Man and Scarlet Woman, to Beast and Babalon, whereby they can unite in Joy and also come to understand both these functions within themselves as Hadit/Nuit combined in Baphomet.

I:29. For I am divided for love’s sake, for the chance of union.

As society stands today, with the exceptions of few, man has yet to overcome his ego by relinquishing his concept of power, and women cannot yet allow themselves to love freely outside the bounds of social reinforcement.

These are the natural steps to acknowledge and eliminate the parts of the ego which have arisen from society’s gender accretions. It is pseudo-Thelemic to ignore this simple fact of society. We do not yet live in a society where complete gender-fluidity is accepted by all and therefore will be subjected to labeling based upon physical appearance, which then influences our psyche whether we are conscious of it or not. We are born and programmed by gender regardless of how hermaphroditic we may consider our thoughts. Only once the Thelemite has been absolved and united by his own forces, can he/she then decide which mask of self to reveal to the world as a King.

II:58. Yea! deem not of change: ye shall be as ye are, & not other. Therefore the kings of the earth shall be Kings for ever: the slaves shall serve. There is none that shall be cast down or lifted up: all is ever as it was. Yet there are masked ones my servants: it may be that yonder beggar is a King. A King may choose his garment as he will: there is no certain test: but a beggar cannot hide his poverty.