Gnothi Seauton

Liber E vel Exercitiorum sub figura IX: Part VII — A Course of Reading

Upon first glance, this part appears simple and straightforward. For the most part, it is. However, I’d like to elaborate upon each point for this part in order to show the importance of narrative sensemaking as well as describe how it aids one in the journey to come.

What is Narrative Sensemaking?

Gary A. Klein (2006) presented a theory of sensemaking as a set of processes that is initiated when an individual recognizes the inadequacy of their current understanding of events (i.e. cognitive dissonance). This builds upon Cohen’s (1996) recognition-metacognition model which describes the processes that are used by individuals to build, verify, and modify stories in situational awareness to account for a foreign experience, and Piaget’s (1977) processes of assimilation and accommodation in his theory of cognitive development. Sensemaking is an active two-way process of fitting data into a mental model and fitting a frame around the data. Data evokes frames and the frames select and connect data. When there is no adequate fit, the data is either reconsidered or revised (through the Path of Pe!)

This means that in a Thelemic context, the practitioner actively participates in new experiences (e.g. by following the course of the A.’.A.’. system) to understand the symbolism for himself, which then allows for deeper experiences and so on and so forth.

Enter Liber CLVII: The Soldier(!) and the Hunchback(?)

Note: 148 = NTzCh [Netzach; victory], MAZNIM(f) [Libra; the scales], BNI ALHIM(f) [Beni Elohim; Sons of the Gods (the angelic choir of Hod)], AHIH IH IHVH ALHIM(f) [A name of God]

In a nutshell, Liber CLVII teaches us the importance of skepticism and samadhi. The “true skeptic” is a man of science, eager, alert, and without bias. He devises some means of answering his first question, and its answer is another question. We can expect our skepticism to continue spinning words and never answer any questions, but this is simply the swing of the pendulum. No combination of thoughts can be greater than the thinking brain itself. However, skepticism along the path ensures that we keep questioning in order to progress towards the attainment of personal truth without bias, which is its ultimate function.

On the other hand, samadhi is a breakthrough in levels of consciousness to a higher plane and therefore leads to the Knowledge and Conversation of the HGA by providing clarity and objectivity; it is the Point from which the pendulum of !s and ?s hang. The purpose of living (and the meaning of living a Victorious Life) is so that we may attain the K&C of the HGA, that the ! may lie in harmony with the ? and that we may find Joy in the swing of the pendulum between the two.

To apply Liber CLVII to the concept of narrative sensemaking means to vigilantly question our understandings and test our experiences while finding Joy in this process, which is, in fact, the Victorious Life.

So what does this have to do with Liber E, Part VII?

Here’s a summary of the first point: No, you’re not wasting your time reading this list of books. But the second point is much more vague:

2. That you may gain some insight into the nature of the Great Work which lies beyond these elementary trifles, however, we should mention that an intelligent person may gather more than a hint of its nature from the following books, which are to be taken as serious and learned contributions to the study of nature, though not necessarily to be implicitly relied upon.

The third point is obvious, the fourth point rings similar to Liber CDLXXIV, and the fifth point needs no elucidation. However, the sixth through to the ninth are kind of interesting, so I’ll summarize below:

6. Find and attach yourself to a competent master, but don’t give up on how hard it will be to find one.

7. Whatever you do, don’t rely on that master (even though you just searched the ends of the earth for him/her). You “must rely entirely upon [yourself], and credit nothing whatever but that which lies within [your] own knowledge and experience.”

8. Your records are your only lifeline.

9. And thus, let the work be duly accomplished.

Once again, no. 7 alludes to the idea of Victory, Netzach and Liber 148. No. 6, 8, and 9 are easy to correspond with Tiphareth, Hod, and Yesod, and all four of these represent the directions of Liber Resh, which if you have been doing for a while aids in one’s understanding of Liber E in its totality. In conclusion, the purpose of Part VII is not only gain practical insights to how to perform the Great Work, but more importantly, how each individual, by use of their symbol set (frame) and experiences (data) have done so, including one’s own master.

To reiterate, the goal is to do this as honestly and accurately (through skepticism and samadhi) as one can.

If you recall in the previous post, my “lesson” from Part II of Liber E:

The harder one tries, the more out of sync the results. Also; that you don’t know what the hell is happening but the more you do it, the more variables in the operation are known (i.e. superstitions are being created, and thus, useful to you). Siddhis appear when these variables are in the right condition–

But most importantly, when one arrives at the City of the Pyramids, this narrative of superstition and variables (otherwise known as narrative sensemaking frames and data, symbol sets, etc) will be the only real thing in the end, since you can place their beginning and creator; oneself.

So Liber E is, quite literally, the Foundation of all your Work.



Although this post is titled, “Truth,” its contents are going to deal with its opposite: the Ultimate Illusion. I hope to keep the Truth sacred and unspoken by this attempt to provide an accurate description of Falsehood below.

First, Soror N.O.’s lessons from Liber E vel Exercitiorum sub figura IX:

  • Part I: Record meticulously and don’t lie to yourself.

  • Part II: The harder one tries, the more out of sync the results. Also; that you don’t know what the hell is happening but the more you do it, the more variables in the operation are known (i.e. superstitions are being created, and thus, useful to you). Siddhis appear when these variables are in the right condition.

  • Part III: Sheer mental willpower dies in the ass of the person who fails to unite body with mind (i.e. you’re better off trying to sleep through the discomfort than to treat it like the last kilometer in a marathon). To absorb energy is to conserve that which is already present in the body.

  • Part IV: The anticipation of the count decreases your capacity for breathing, so breathe first, count second.

  • Part V: Tighten the sphere of thought gradually so that a ten random thoughts become a few and by that time, you realize that those few thoughts can be eliminated (or altered) as one.

  • Part VI: There is a difference between what you can override your body to do with the mind (and vice versa) and that which is natural to your body.

  • Part VII: (A Course of Reading)

These lessons are relevant because one learns the effect of the consciousness in processes of thought, emotion, and body; and therefore, one learns how to not interfere in them. A special thing happens with siddhis, or “supernatural/psychical feats,” like predicting the future, moving things with your mind, etc: the experience of them leads to the awareness of the One Moment through the overlapping of things like time — past, present, future all in One.

Because this ties into a few more things like free will and determinism, here is an excerpt from The Brazen Serpent, for the Path of Lamed:

By now, there should be a rather concrete understanding of how the world works according to the magician’s influence on it, and how it influences himself – even if this understanding is not explicitly bound by language in his mind. In a nutshell, it can be summed up like this: Good work leads to more work. When one ascends a plane of consciousness, there are more difficult and more subtle tasks, both in the higher planes and the lower. Theurgy is all about expanding both the heights and depths of the planes in which one travels, eventually purifying them thoroughly enough to bridge them all together. And yet, it may seem in one perspective that this leads the individual nowhere, and certainly not closer to Divinity – but in a more encompassing perspective, one sees that the path to Divinity is not in a straight one-way elevation up the Tree, but rather is embedded in the Circle of the Infinite which surrounds all of manifestation. By performing the Great Work, the Great Work performs “us.” The Work creates in the individual more relations that he is to grasp and understand, therefore making these relations automatic in his processing and in turn, make him more sensitive to his own missteps as he refines his being. The individual becomes stronger in his flexibility and adaptation yet with each task accomplished, his senses become more sensitive and therefore more prone to more work. The closer one gets to performing True Will, the more “free will”, yet less “free will” one gets.

What is “free will?” The mundane kind of conception of free will is actually of the Illusion of free will. E.g. all is determined ahead of time, and because one cannot consciously relate every factor and variable affecting his every move, there is this feeling like the “I” really is making things happen. However, by taking into account not just a linear, two-dimensional understanding of existence and learn to perceive in the higher planes, there lies a few curious observations:

1. The linear timeline of one’s physical existence in the world of Assiah from birth to death is determined, because we have only learned to see the past.

2. When one’s consciousness rises from Assiah to Yetzirah, we are able to see a little ahead of the linear timeline called life, either through divination, direct feats of psychism, the acquisition of siddhis, etc – giving one a chance to change an event that was “prescribed.” By refining the senses to pick up on these chances, and learning to follow them, one breaks through to Briah.

3. As one reaches Briatic consciousness, we not only see a little ahead of our timeline, but begin to witness the forces which create the timeline. The individual lives in conjunction with these forces, establishing the link between his consciousness and the timeline as a whole.

4. At the level of Atziluth, viewing the entire timeline of our mundane existence, one becomes the forces which inform Briah, which propels him to take action in Yetzirah, which changes the course as it appears in Assiah.

In conclusion, the linear timeline of one’s physical existence in Assiah is absolutely determined, but it is determined by the individual himself, assimilating both concepts of determinism and free will. In Atziluth, the entire timeline appears as a single moment. In Assiah, the individual places themselves at a point somewhere on the timeline, unaware of what the future holds. Spirit always firstly “moves downwards” into manifestation because manifestation is simply the grossest form of spirit. How else can we attempt K&C with the HGA, seeing as how the HGA is but our higher selves? As the spirit within learns (or, more accurately, remembers) how to rise back up, the lower planes are automatically affected, therefore leaving us with the duty of assimilation above and below.

The True Will is thus both determined by its equations, and free because those equation are simply its own name, spelt out fully. His sense of being under bondage comes from his inability to read it; his sense that evil exists to thwart him arises when he begins to learn to read, reads wrong, and is obstinate that his error is an improvement.

(Book 4)

To “see into the future” is to prove a certain degree of synchronicity, but more importantly, it shows that the Truth is Maya and that we all share it. The siddhis show us the simulation of the One as all these things and that this is what we call “reality.”

So what is “reality”?

Now, returning briefly to Liber E: personally and through the discipline of meditation, I know it takes me approximately 46 minutes for any kind of emotion (whether it is anger, excitement, anxiety, etc.) to naturally cycle out of my consciousness. The thought remains if not changed but the feeling itself wanes regardless of what I was thinking. What that means is that whatever I thought was really worth starting a fist fight with someone twice my size for, will fade by the time I’ve been pulverized and have been left lying on the floor.

This also applies to less dramatic but still damaging situations like choosing to insult someone instead of staying quiet.

The bottom line is that we must attempt to treat others as if they are to die tomorrow.

The convergence of time not only means that to be rude to someone is being rude to yourself but to fall prey to the Ultimate Illusion of reality, and the nature of that reality, being Separation.

And when we must shun someone away, we should do it solely with the intention of directing them towards a path more suitable to their Will, and not out of our own fear, hatred, jealousy, or anger.


So this is my first book review and I’d like to get started on the book in question: ADEPTUS EXEMPTUS THESIS (first printed Spring Equinox 2015) by Amun Atum, found here [].

It is comprised of three large sections: the first, titled “Crowley’s Magick,” is the author’s journal entries spanning his grades of Student to Adeptus Exemptus as a self-taught and solitary practitioner of the A.’.A.’. system of Thelema and magick. It contains vivid imagery and a well-established symbol set inspired by major themes proposed in Thelema and Egyptian mysticism. It ends with a neat section on personalized rituals that include the Egyptian Lesser Rituals of the Pentagram and Hexagram. Here is my favorite one to give you an idea of what it entails, even though it is very different from the one I regularly perform:

Egyptian Lesser Ritual of the Hexagram

Touching the forehead say “Au N’natik”

Touching the waistline say “Tauy”

Touching the right shoulder say “Wazer”

Touching the left shoulder say “Nefrau”

Clasping the hands upon the breast say “Jet r Nah-ah Amun”

With the magical weapon trace the Hexagram of Air in the East, vibrating, “Abrahadabra,” All hexagrams consist of two equilateral triangles. Begin the Air hexagram at the top of the upper triangle and trace it in a dextro-rotary direction. The bases of the triangles coincide, forming a diamond.

Trace the Hexagram of Fire in the South, vibrating “Abrahadabra.” The triangles of this hexagram both point upwards. The top of the lower triangle should coincide with the central point of the upper triangle.

Trace the Hexagram of Water in the West, vibrating “Abrahadabra.” This hexagram has the lower triangle placed above the upper, so that their apices coincide.

Trace the Hexagram of Earth in the North, vibrating “Abrahadabra.” This hexagram has the apex of the lower triangle pointing downward, and it should be capable of inscription in a circle.

Stand upright, feet together, left arm at side, right across body, holding the wand or other weapon upright in the median line. Then face East and say:

I.N.R.I. Yod, Nun, Resh, Yod.

Virgo, Aset, Mighty Mother

Scorpio, Apep, Destroyer

Sol, Asar, Slain and Risen

Aset, Apep, Asar, I-A-O

Extend the arms in the form of a cross and say: “The Sign of Asar Slain,”

Raise the right arm to point upwards, keeping the elbow square, and lower the left arm to point downwards, keeping the elbow square while turning the head over the left shoulder looking down so that the eyes follow the left forearm and say, “The Sign of the Mourning of Aset,”

Raise the arms at an angle of sixty degrees to each other above the head, which is thrown back and say, “The Sign of Apep,”

Cross the arms on the breast, bow the head and say, “The Sign of Asar Risen,”

Extend the arms again and cross them again saying, “L.V.X., LUX, the Light of the Cross.”

Touching the forehead say “Au N’natik”

Touching the waistline say “Tauy”

Touching the right shoulder say “Wazer”

Touching the left shoulder say “Nefrau”

Clasping the hands upon the breast say “Jet r Nah-ah Amun”

(Copyright 2014 Amun Atum. All rights reserved).

This section, “Crowley’s Magick,” is a good enough reason to read the book if you have considered or are working the A.’.A.’. system as a solitary practitioner. The journal entries are regular (between 1 to 5 days between entries) and they provide an account of detailed chakra work, tattwa meditations, and a helpful study of the astral plane. What I especially enjoyed was the author’s display of a highly dedicated work ethic, organization skills in planning (and sticking to) practices, and adjusting them accordingly as he progressed in the system. There is no doubt that the author did the work, and anyone who reads it will find a likeness of themselves in the common struggles, dry spells, and complaints one has (but tells no one about) when practicing daily. By using light humor and candid commentaries on the libri of Aleister Crowley that all Thelemites can empathize with, he provides both an entertaining read and a distinct idea of what it’s like to have Knowledge and Conversation with the HGA throughout the gradual progression up the Tree of Life.

The only criticisms of this section I can give are based off of my own personal way of writing in a magical journal. I would like to have read more detailed descriptions of the physical sensations or time elapsed during practices, what foods were consumed that day, what astrological conditions were relevant and such. The author does, however, note well the gematria of personally significant messages and the Thelemic notation of time in between each oath. Another possible concern is that the time elapsed during each grade is relatively short, and it is impossible (as I don’t have the right) for me to judge whether it was honest progression or not. For example, the author’s Student grade spanned an approximate 4 months, Probationer = 3 months, Neophyte = 1 month, Zelator = 3 months, Practicus = 3 months, Philosophus = 3 months, Dominus Liminis = 2 months, Adeptus Minor = 1 month, Adeptus Major = 13 months, Adeptus Exemptus = 9 months. Although there is no minimum or maximum attainment requirements for the grades after Neophyte, these beginning grades are, in my opinion, the most important. (The consensus for minimum time spent in the grade of Probation is 1 year, and for the Neophyte, 8 months).

At the end of his Practicus grade (pg 116-117), he makes a rather fascinating observation that I’d like to comment on here:

July 21 – [. . .] here are the approximate contents for a book on the Qabalah that I wish someone would write: [list of the individual sephiroth in all four worlds], Parts of the Individual: [list of the five parts of the soul], [. . .] Additional QBL Terms: Adam Kadmon, Archetypal Man; Arik Anpin, vast countenance in Kether; Malkah, the Bride, a young girl, the unredeemed soul; bride of the Microprosophus (in Malkuth); Serpent Nechushtan, Serpent of Wisdom; Zeir Anpin, lesser countenance in Tiphareth, etc. (I’m sure there’s plenty more terms and concepts)

As a studious practitioner of the system, one does run into these issues. Fortunately, most, if not all of these questions are answered in Regardie’s Complete System of the Golden Dawn, which condenses Qabalah taken from sources like The Zohar, The Sepher Yetzirah, and so on. It is easy to overlook the fact that reading authors like Dion Fortune and Gareth Knight, we are getting only a secondary source from individuals who have been, in one form or another, students of the Golden Dawn system. It is my personal (but informed) hypothesis that in order to do the A.’.A.’. system to the best of one’s ability, you do need some kind of Golden Dawn background. Whether this is independent study or following an initiatory track, it is inevitable to run into gaps in one’s learning due to overlooking Crowley’s own training in the Golden Dawn system. This is one of the main reasons why I wrote a book on Thelemic Qabalah: to synthesize the information of the past with that of the A.’.A.’. system.

Now, returning back to the review. As you can see, for his grades of Adeptus Major and Adeptus Exemptus, the author took considerably longer in his work. Unsurprising, the journal entries in the book for these grades are the most enriching to read as well. Here is another excerpt (pg 182-183):

January 17 – I have returned to ritual work in a light way. “Liber Samekh” was well done. My Angel was present. She still answers my call. I am not getting a set series of instructions from her, but she is answering my call, and she is being very encouraging.

My thoughts keep returning to “Equilibration of Himself.” I really want to fulfill this requirement. I don’t want to give it short shrift. It’s about balance.

I agree with what I wrote above, but somehow it should go deeper; it should be more fully recognized.

Sometimes Depression can give you “no preference for any one course of conduct over another.”

Yeah . . . whatever!

Maybe this is just a falsity. Maybe it’s something you can’t claim to the degree Crowley says you can; not if you live in the real world! [. . .]

Crowley wrote about the True Will and the Holy Guardian Angel being synonymous, about having identical goals. At first I disagreed, but now I see them as being a sort of reflection of each other.

Your True Will is in you, buried deep in your subconscious. It is “higher” than all your wants and desires; you really have to aspire to it.

We get deceived along the way, thinking some of our desires are our True Will, but they’re not. We have to aspire to more, we have to reach further.

It is up there, but still within us; we must accept no substitute.

While the True Will is in us, and is our highest self; the Holy Guardian Angel is like a reflection of that Will! Crowley’s final worlds on the HGA was that it is outside of us. That is why I say the two are a reflection of each other: the True Will within, the HGA without. They speak with a different voice. The True Will is logical, imperious, formless, emotionless. The HGA is the opposite: she is passionate, loving; emotional to the extreme. The HGA encourages us. The HGA has faith in us; the HGA believes in us. They are opposites, but complimentary opposites. They have one goal: our success, our attainment! [. . .]

When you lose everything; when everything you have has been stripped away, when layer after layer has been removed . . . all you have left is your Honor. So live by a Personal Code of Honor; for in the final tally, that is all you have.

The next major section of the book, titled “Crowley’s Law,” is pretty straightforward. This section consists of insightful commentaries on major Thelemic concepts as well as explanations for a lot of jargon often taken for granted (I am certainly guilty of this). Even if you are well-versed in Crowley’s work, this part of the book is still useful in comparing and contrasting one’s own interpretations. To the beginner, it is full of helpful tidbits that elucidate some of the inner mysteries of Crowley’s work and provide practical advice on doing the work itself.

The last section of the book contains the Adeptus Exemptus Thesis itself. As is known, the requirements to proceed to the passage called Babe of the Abyss is to “prepare and publish a thesis setting forth His knowledge of the Universe, and his proposals for its welfare and progress. He will thus be known as the leader of a school of thought. He will have attained all but the supreme summits of meditation, and should be already prepared to perceive that the only possible course for him is to devote himself utterly to helping his fellow creatures.” It seems that the only other publicly available (and seriously attempted, in my humble opinion) examples of this that have been set forth by other Thelemites are J. Daniel Gunther’s Initiation in the Aeon of the Child, J. Edward Cornelius’s The Magikal Essence of Aleister Crowley, and Ray Eales’s Magick Revised. This is the author’s own response to the requirements: “I see a lot of injustice. I see a lot of pig-headedness. I see a lot of selfishness that is just hurting people. Certainly there is a better way that things can be done: procedures and methodologies (so to speak) that wouldn’t destroy our world and murder the people living in it. I really see things as being dire, but I also see that we have a choice of what to do, of how to treat people. It can be a better world.”

What follows in this last section is a theory of politics and re-shaping of the world that should be read in the Light of the Great Work, regardless of one’s own personal political affiliation. As a proposed Thesis, it is to be respected. I am not qualified in political theory to provide an in-depth analysis of the Thesis itself, but I can honestly say that it is a genuine effort that rings true to the spirit of the task of Adeptus Exemptus. In conclusion, this book was a wonderfully candid study of a magical journal with many insights and commonalities I think all practitioners of the system of A.’.A.’. will find true, no matter if you work alone, in one lineage, order, or another. The author’s Thesis was unique, practical, and refreshing in the sense that it involves recognizing and attempting to rectify the mundane world for the betterment of all human beings.

In Memorial: Frater Adamas

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

On Wednesday the 15th of March, 2017 Frater Adamas 161, my long time mentor and friend passed away in New Zealand, survived by his wife, Soror Neirika, and family.

For over fourteen years Fr. Adamas played a significant role in my life as the founder and self-proclaimed Magus of the Temple of Baphomtr (spelling intentional).

Having initiated me into his syncratic guerilla A.’.A.’. System in 2003, (in a ceremony that literally made me laugh and cry) Adamas proscribed a modified version of the original A.’.A.’. system, suplimented with Maat Magick, Typhonian Magick, Vodoo (and other systems) along with his own blunt, direct techniques of attaing True Will and approaching The Abyss.

These techniques–which consisted of chemo-gnosis and sex-magick, along with shock-space techniques like self-piercing etc–were designed to strip social accretions and programming at an alarming, sometimes even traumatic rate. In my personal experience, I found them to be sound but often extraordinarily painful. They did, however, absolutely work.

Adamas’ system was not for the faint hearted. Nonetheless, without pretention or ornamentation he drove me forward towards Ultimate Truth.

The Temple itself, being designed along A.’.A.’. lines, consisted of a short lineage taking its cues and instruction directly from The Secret Chiefs. There was no claim of official sanction. Moreso, Frater Adamas shunned the idea of official lines.

Initiation to the ToB was by invitation only and diligence was taken to ensure an understanding of the difference between Crowley the Prophet and Crowley the Man. While the Holy Books were in line with the Universal, Self-Evident and Consistent forces of nature, ‘Crowley the man’ often had other, personal agendas. Idolatry was not a tenant of the ToB.

Before he died, Frater Adamas sent me an email asking me to take his mandate to assume his position as chief officer of the Temple. I kindly refused.

In the long run, I have learned that for me at least, the traumas induced by Adamas’ path were beyond my capacity to sustain–I would not inflict them on anyone else. After a long period of reflection, I have arisen from the ash of that incarnation of Self and I have chosen a slower, safer, proven route that is allowing me to finish integrating many of the lessons Adamas taught me.

Despite his human flaws, Adamas was an exceptional individual and what he accomplished was astounding and utterly profound (Especially in context). I have no regrets for the work (and it was indeed work) that we performed. His efforts went above and beyond the realm of duty. He was indeed a King, a true psychonaut, explorer and pioneer. He will always have a place in my heart.

Now it seems that Fr. Adamas has achieved his Great Work and his Greater Feast is done. Never was there a braver, bolder magickian who ‘desired death much’, to walk the firmament of Nu.

Frater Adamas 161, may you find your place among the Stars.

Love is the Law. Love under Will.

Source: In Memorial: Frater Adamas

Ancestral Veneration 

I have decided that there must be reconciliation for the current concept of the individual regarding the death of the many parts of himself in this life. I believe in reincarnation in regards to parts of the soul which need it, and that this happens on a microcosmic scale while we are living. After all, the Invokation of the “Bornless” (Head-less) One before the evokation of the Goetia is a bringing forth of the archetype of the “be-headed” King and Queen in the Chymical Wedding, of the myth of Osiris, etc. This is an archetype of the Higher Self, the HGA which commands the “dead” parts of us (shells of the personal unconscious, spirits of the Goetia) to rise and be guided under Will. There appears a literal connection to these ideas and that of the old depictions of Atu XX; the dead rising from their tombs and are given eternal life.

I’ve looked forward so much that I seem to have forgotten how I got here. There is an undeniable aspect of energy in ancestral workings (harnessed primarily for thaumaturgical purposes) but albeit powerful and has been dominant throughout the centuries.

To the theurgist, although all parts of the self end up in Sheol, they are either resurrected for the purposes of the Great Work, or abide as Qliphotic aspects of self which must continue to be rectified–both for our sake, and “theirs.” It is interesting that by understanding the microcosm in this manner, we understand that these aspects of our self contain in themselves a type of base consciousness; a persistence to exist and stubborness to attempt to avoid change or the death of itself.

This is essentially what our individual manifestations are to the macrocosm.

The aspects of self which are “righteous” i.e. in alignment with the True Will of the Individual, having been resurrected, can be interpreted to be living in Heaven/the Supernals/in Harmony with the All.

When we venerate our ancestors, we are acknowledging the continuation of the cycle and drawing forth all the energy of the transformations they’ve made throughout time, feeling the energy of the All propelling us forth into the Light. Therefore any progress made in the present is never ours, nor our ancestors, but the permutation of the One. 

Giving Thanks

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.


I have been grateful for many different things throughout the course of my life, but there is nothing more humbling and ecstatic than change and the expansion of one’s own conscious limitations. Even when this entails a brand new perspective on consciousness and change itself. I am grateful for the ability to feel the LVX when I can, and I am grateful (although usually in retrospect) for the realization of how limited my own abilities are. I am grateful for having the chance to be grateful for things I would have resented in the past, and I am grateful for every second of life where I am aware of this potential to continue evolving in me.


All the power that ever was or will be is here now. The only thing we can do is keep learning and changing and not judge ourselves or others based off of what we think the truth is at any given time. This includes the truth that none can know the truth – whether or not one can, the “I” will likely never know, as the “I” is defined by its limitations in language to express the truth.


In the few months I’ve put up this blog and re-read some of my older posts, I have felt at times embarrassed, and other times surprised at my own writing. I have felt the “I” turn red in its cheeks, hide away, and attempt to manifest this energy by deleting posts and spiral down with shame, shutting down the entire blog.


And perhaps one day I will give in, but not today as I realize (or perhaps, re-remember) that growth is nothing to be ashamed of. I am grateful for the patience of others, and of God in dealing directly with my soul through the expansion of what little Understandings I have.


May we all be thankful for the good and the bad – let no difference be made! And may we rejoice in our efforts, sometimes failing and sometimes succeeding, but at all times transforming and knowing a little bit more about ourselves through each effort in our lives.


Love is the law, love under Will.
Soror N.O.

The Image of God

My Love for God and God’s Love for Me springs from the Great Secret we share.
The Secret is: God and I will achieve Supreme Enlightenment at the same moment.


When the “I” searches for the “I” itself, it disappears.
The “I” is like Chokmah as the reflection of Kether. Binah represents Kether being aware of its own reflection, at which point the reflection is Understood as not another Kether, but as a reflection – and returns unto Kether. It is said that because Binah is “Infinite Goodness,” the Light which descends down beyond the Supernals into a Finite vessel shatters this vessel, creating Da’ath and the Qliphoth. Because Da’ath is not a true sephira, it only appears when Kether does not; in other words, when Da’at is constricted, the Light from the Supernals do not reach us. It is Knowledge from seeing a reflection and identifying the “I” with it and not the Origin of the image.

The only “thing” that the “I” can do is mirror the actions of the Origin which is True Will. We are all ideas (images in motion) of the One, but we interact with one another like we are all separate entities. Because we are all images of God, the images/ideas of the One includes the ability to think – the motion of the image. Hence, if we silence our thoughts, magick manifests perfectly because we are at all times mirroring the actions of the True Will – we just think ourselves away from simply being.

Thought is defined as “an idea produced by thinking or occuring suddenly in the mind.”
Through me, its unfailing Wisdom takes form in thought and word.

“The mind circles round and round a key idea – the ‘seed’ of the meditation – and the process bores a ‘well’ down through the layers of the concrete mind until (if persistently pursued) a breakthrough is made to the intuitional levels of consciousness.”

The “I” is no different; it is the idea/seed (of the One) which we continuously think around but cannot think of. It is from Hod, the Binah of the Microposopus, that the “I” is able to rationalize what “it is” based off of seeing images of “others,” but never itself.

If there is no other watching the “I,” it does not know what to be – it knows what it can be from the illusion of memory – (sensations which stir into motion a record that appears separate from the present), and it knows what it thinks it wants to be from the personal unconscious, where our thought patterns are habit calcified through the many years (a reinforced type of illusion of memory). These are the interferences which must be squashed in order to allow True Will to operate. The “I” never knows what it’s supposed to be until the ruach forges a link with the neshamah, which is informed by the chiah. The Supernals represent the (capital O) Other, whereas other people are actually images of this Other. We all practice (here mainly in the world of Yetzirah) figuring out what our True Will is through other people until the “I” is ready to behold the Supernals. When it is linked without obstruction to the yechidah, the “I” is One with True Will; other and Other are united.

Lux ex Tenebris

Comfort is not a substitute for faith. 

By “faith,” I mean knowledge of True Will; there is a tendency of the mind to separate “events which happen to us” with “events that we cause.” Without this disposition, we are unable to make sense of the world, but as we remember the nature of our true selves, we become aware of the appearance of separation itself. We are Will, and we do Will, and – “Every act that is not in definite course of that one orbit is erratic, an hindrance. Will must not be two, but one.” 

Trust is letting understanding show which colours to perceive, even with impure eyes. Even colours have natural complements of one another, and what is natural is merely consistent enough to rely on from experience. It is the acknowledgement of both the consistency and possibility of inconsistency in one’s own experience – and faith, being complete trust – is knowing this and being at peace with it. 

It is the ordeals of our own darkness which allow us to see a truth that what we once thought was faith or True Will, was merely comfort; fickle and expensive. Once the light is sought and seen, it does not leave us. We just have to remember it. Suffering becomes a reminder that we are only concealing it against ourselves, and that if we let it shine, it will.

Esoteric vs. Exoteric Analysis of Liber OZ



From a previous post titled “Karma & the Ethics of Thelema” – “the nature of ethics lies firstly in the differentiation between acts and intentions, secondly in the evaluation of whether an act aligns with a society or culture, thirdly whether an act aligns with intent, and lastly whether an intention aligns with one’s Great Work.”

Using the Five Precepts/Virtues of Buddhism: No killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, lying, and the taking of intoxicants – Crowley’s essay, Pansil explains the invalidity and impossibility of avoiding these acts, and how the 5 Precepts are “sarcastic and biting criticisms on existence, illustrations of the First Noble Truth; reasons, as it were, for the apotheosis of annihilation.” I would add that although they are just that, the Law of Thelema, being Do What Thou Wilt – adds the perfect “ethical” intention to the degrees of doing these things.

Compare the 5 Precepts with the 5 Points in Liber OZ, which would mean the same thing, if not for Liber OZ’s emphasis on Will:

– No killing vs (5). “Man has the right to kill those who would thwart these rights.”
– No stealing vs (1). “Man has the right to live by his own law.”
– No sexual misconduct vs (4). “Man has the right to love as he will.”
– No lying vs (3). “Man has the right to think what he will.”
– No taking of intoxicants vs (2). “Man has the right to eat what he will.”

The intentions, that one might have for performing any of these acts, however, must always be in accordance with one’s True Will. Therefore,

(1) “Man has the right to live by his own law,” allows him to take what he needs according to his Will, since there are no such things as “thieves” to the universe.


The Second Precept is directed against theft. Theft is the appropriation to one’s own use of that to which another has a right. Let us see therefore whether or no the Buddha was a thief. The answer is of course in the affirmative. For to issue a command is to attempt to deprive another of his most precious possession—the right to do as he will; that is, unless, with the predestinarians, we hold that action is determined absolutely, in which case, of course, a command is as absurd as it is unavoidable. Excluding this folly, therefore, we may conclude that if the command be obeyed—and those of Buddha have gained a far larger share of obedience that those of any other teacher—the Enlightened One was not only a potential but an actual thief. Further, all voluntary action limits in some degree, however minute, the volition of others. If I breathe, I diminish the stock of oxygen available on the planet. In those far distant ages when Earth shall be as dead as the moon is to-day, my breathing now will have robbed some being then living of the dearest necessity of life.

That the theft is minute, incalculably trifling, is no answer to the moralist, to whom degree is not known; nor to the scientist, who sees the chain of nature miss no link.

   If, on the other hand, the store of energy in the universe be indeed constant (whether infinite or no), if personality be indeed delusion, then theft becomes impossible, and to forbid it is absurd. We may argue that even so temporary theft may exist; and that this is so is to my mind no doubt the case. All theft is temporary, since even a millionaire must die; also it is universal, since even a Buddha must breathe.



(2) “Man has the right to eat what he will,” allows him to be intoxicated according to his Will, since there is no such thing as not being affected by the universe.


At last we arrive at the end of our weary journey—surely in this weather we may have a drink! East of Suez,† Trombone Macaulay (as I may surely say, when Browning writes Banjo-Byron‡) tells us, a man may raise a Thirst. No, shrieks the Blessed One, the Perfected One, the Enlightened One, do not drink! It is like the streets of Paris when they were placarded with rival posters—

Ne buvez pas de l’Alcool !
L’Alcool est un poison !
Buvez de l’Alcool !
L’Alcool est un aliment !

We know now that alcohol is a food up to a certain amount; the precept, good enough for a rough rule as it stands, will not bear close inspection. What Buddha really commands with that grim humour of his, is: Avoid Intoxication.

But what is intoxication? unless it be the loss of power to use perfectly a truth-telling set of faculties. If I walk unsteadily it is owing to nervous lies—and so for all the phenomena of drunkenness. But a lie involves the assumption of some true standard, and this can nowhere be found. A doctor would tell you, moreover, that all food intoxicates: all, here as in all the universe, of every subject and in every predicate, is a matter of degree.

Our faculties never tell us true; our eyes say flat when our fingers say round; our tongue sends a set of impressions to our brain which our hearing declares non-existent—and so on.

What is this delusion of personality but a profound and centrally-seating intoxication of
the consciousness ? I am intoxicated as I address these words; you are drunk—beastly drunk !—as you read them; Buddha was as drunk as a British officer when he uttered his besotted command. There, my dear children, is the conclusion to which we are brought if you insist that he was serious!

I answer No ! Alone among men then living, the Buddha was sober, and saw Truth. He, who was freed from the coils of the reat serpent Theli coiled round the universe, he knew how deep the slaver of that snake had entered into us, infecting us, rotting our very bones with poisonous drunkenness. And so his cutting irony—drink no intoxicating drinks!
* Quoted in “Science and Buddhism”, s. IV., note.
† “Ship me somewhere East of Suez, where a man can raise a thirst.”—R. KIPLING.
‡ “While as for Quilp Hop o’ my Thumb there Banjo-Byron that twangs the strum-strum there.” —BROWNING, Pachiarotto (said of A. Austin)



(3) “Man has the right to think what he will,” allows him to express his thoughts according to his Will, since the very construct from which he thinks with, is a lie of the ego to his ego, to begin with.


Here we come to what in a way is the fundamental joke of these precepts. A command is not a lie, of course; possibly cannot be; yet surely an allegorical order is one in essence, and I have no longer a shadow of a doubt that these so-called “precepts” are a species of savage practical joke.

Apart from this there can hardly be much doubt, when critical exegesis has done its damnedest on the Logia of our Lord, that Buddha did at some time commit himself to some statement. “(Something called) Consciousness exists” is, said Huxley, the irreducible minimum of the pseudo-syllogism, false even for an enthymeme, “Cogito, ergo sum !” This proposition he bolsters up by stating that whoso should pretend to doubt it, would thereby but confirm it. Yet might it not be said “(Something called) Consciousness appears to itself to exist,” since Consciousness is itself the only witness to that confirmation?

Not that even now we can deny some kind of existence to consciousness, but that it should be a more real existence than that of a reflection is doubtful, incredible, even inconceivable. If by consciousness we mean the normal consciousness,
it is definitely untrue, since the Dhyanic consciousness includes it and denies it. No doubt “something called” acts as a kind of caveat to the would-be sceptic, though the phrase is bad, implying a “calling.” But we can guess what Huxley means.

No doubt Buddha’s scepticism does not openly go quite so far as mine—it must be remembered that “scepticism” is merely the indication of a possible attitude, not a belief, as so many good fool folk thing; but Buddha not only denies “Cogito, ergo sum”; but “Cogito, ergo non sum.” See Sabbasava Sutta, par. 10.*

At any rate, Sakkyaditthi, the delusion of personality, is in the very forefront of his doctrines; and it is this delusion that is constantly and inevitably affirmed in all normal consciousness. That Dhyanic thought avoids it is doubtful; even so, Buddha is here represented as giving precepts to ordinary people. And if personality be delusion, a lie is involved in the command of one to another. In short, we all lie all the time; we are compelled to it by the nature of things themselves—paradoxical as that seems—and the Buddha knew it!
* Quoted in “Science and Buddhism”, s. IV., note.


(4) “Man has the right to love as he will,” allows him to give his love freely according to his Will, since love has no restrictions, all being one – to violate oneself is not love, but the withholding of.


This precept, against adultery, I shall touch but lightly. Not that I consider the subject unpleasant—far from it!—but since the English section of my readers, having unclean minds, will otherwise find a fulcrum therein for their favourite game of slander. Let it suffice if I say that the Buddha—in spite of the ridiculous membrane legend (Membrum virile illius in membrana inclusum esse aiunt, ne copulare posset) one of those foul follies which idiot devotees invent only too freely— was a confirmed and habitual adulterer. It would be easy to argue with Hegel-Huxley that he who thinks of an act commits it (cf. Jesus also in this connection, though he only knows the creative value of desire), and that since A and not-A are mutually limiting, therefore interdependent, therefore identical,
he who forbids an act commits it; but I feel that this is no place for metaphysical hairsplitting; let us prove what we have to prove in the plainest way.

I would premise in the first place that to commit adultery in the Divorce Court sense is not here in question.

It assumes too much proprietary right of a man over a woman, that root of all abomination!—the whole machinery of inheritance, property, and all the labyrinth of law. We may more readily assume that the Buddha was (apparently at least) condemning incontinence.

We know that Buddha had abandoned his home ; true, but Nature has to be reckoned with. Volition is no necessary condition of offence. “I didn’t mean to” is a poor excuse for an officer failing to obey an order.

Enough of this—in any case a minor question; since even on the lowest moral grounds— and we, I trust, soar higher!—the error in question may be resolved into a mixture of murder, theft and intoxication. (We consider the last under the Fifth Precept.)


and lastly,


(5) “Man has the right to kill those who would thwart these rights,” allows him to sever the efforts according to his Will, which no longer serve his Will; or in fact seek to disrupt it.


This forbids the taking of life in any form.* What we have to note is the impossibility of performing this; if we can prove it to be so, either Buddha was a fool, or his command was rhetorical, like those of Yahweh to Job, or of Tannhäuser to himself—

“ Go! seek the stars and count them and explore!
Go! sift the sands beyond a starless sea!”

Let us consider what the words can mean. The “taking of life” can only mean the reduction of living protoplasm to dead matter: or, in a truer and more psychological sense, the destruction of personality.

Now, in the chemical changes involved in Buddha’s speaking this command, living protoplasm was changed into dead matter. Or, on the other horn, the fact (insisted upon most strongly by the Buddha himself, the central and cardinal point of his doctrine, the shrine of that Metaphysic which isolates it absolutely from all other religious metaphysic, which allies it with Agnostic Metaphysis) that the Buddha who had spoken this command was not the same as the Buddha before he had spoken it, lies the proof that the Buddha, by speaking this command, violated it. More, not only did he slay himself; he breathed in millions of living organisms and slew them. He could nor eat nor drink nor breathe without murder implicit in each act. Huxley cites the “pitiless microsco-pist” who showed a drop of water to the Brahmin who boasted himself “Ahimsa” harmless. So among the “rights” of a Bhikkhu is medicine. He who takes quinine does so with the deliber-ate intention of destroying innumerable living beings; whether this is done by stimulating the phagocytes, or directly, is morally indifferent.

How such a fiend incarnate, my dear brother Ananda Maitriya, can call him “cruel and cowardly” who only kills a tiger, is a study in the philosophy of the mote and the beam!†

 Far be it from me to suggest that this is a defence of breathing, eating and drinking. By no means; in all these ways we bring suffering and death to others, as to ourselves. But since these are inevitable acts, since suicide would be a still more cruel alternative (especially in case something should subsist below mere Rupa), the command is not to achieve the impossible, the already violated in the act of commanding, but a bitter commentary on the foul evil of this aimless, hopeless universe, this compact of misery, meanness, and cruelty. Let us pass on.
* Fielding, in “The Soul of a People,” has reluctantly to confess that he can find no trace of this idea in Buddha’s own work, and called the superstition the “echo of an older Faith.”—A.C.
† The argument that the “animals are our brothers” is merely intended to mislead one who has never been in a Buddhist country. The average Buddhist would, of course, kill his brother for five rupees, or less.— A. C.


The exoteric analysis of the tenets in Liber OZ is simpler, and aims to avoid the acquisition of negative Karma for all that follow the 5 Precepts simply, at face value. “[…] before we know our Wills, we can only escape Karma by means of a strict regimen like this system, or that of the Noble 8-Fold Path. This helps us not step off the path and spiral down into negativity.”



“But, Lord,” said the Five Hundred Thousand and One Arahats in a breath, “thou art then guilty of six violent deaths !

Nay, thou hast hounded one soul from death to death through all these incarnations ! What of this First Precept2 of yours ?”

“Children,” answered the Glorious One, “do not be so foolish as to think that death is necessarily an evil. I have not come to found a Hundred Years Club, and to include mosquitoes in the membership. In this case to have kept Perdu’ R Abu alive was to have played into the hands of his enemies. My First Precept is merely a general rule.3 In the bulk of cases one should certainly abstain from destroying life, that is, wantonly and wilfully: but I cannot drink a glass of water without killing countless myriads of living beings. If you knew as I do, the conditions of existence: struggle deadly and inevitable, every form of life the inherent and immitigable foe of every other form, with few, few exceptions, you would not only cease to talk of the wickedness of causing death, but you would perceive the First Noble Truth, that no existence can be free from sorrow ; the second, that the desire for existence only leads to sorrow ; that the ceasing from existence is the ceasing of sorrow (the third) ; and you would seek in the fourth the Way, the Noble Eightfold Path.

“I know, O Arahats, that you do not need this instruction : but my words will not stay here : they will go forth and illuminate the whole system of ten thousand worlds, where Arahats do not grow on every tree. Little brothers, the night is fallen : it were well to sleep.”
2 Here is the little rift within the lute which alienated Crowley from active work on Buddhist lines; the orthodox failing to see his attitude.
3 A more likely idea that the brilliantly logical nonsense of “Pansil,” supra.

By following the Noble 8-fold Path, we avoid the desire for existence, and therefore sorrow. But keep in mind, Liber AL II:

70. There is help & hope in other spells. Wisdom says: be strong! Then canst thou bear more joy. Be not animal; refine thy rapture! If thou drink, drink by the eight and ninety rules of art: if thou love, exceed by delicacy; and if thou do aught joyous, let there be subtlety therein!

71. But exceed! exceed!

72. Strive ever to more! and if thou art truly mine – and doubt it not, an if thou art ever joyous! – death is the crown of all.

73. ah! ah! Death! Death! thou shalt long for death. Death is forbidden, o man, unto thee.


74. The length of thy longing shall be the strength of its glory. He that lives long & desires death much is ever the King among the Kings.

Ambiguity & Wisdom



Liber AL III:2. There is division hither homeward; there is a word not known. Spelling is defunct; all is not aught. Beware! Hold! Raise the spell of Ra-Hoor-Khuit!

“A commonly-held trope about occultism is that it is ‘scientific’ in the same way that physics or biology or engineering is ‘scientific’, and a consequence of that is the tendency to assume that when one writes about a specific occult term – be it egregore, aeon or chakra, that anyone who encounters the term is going to understand it in the same way that the writer does. In my experience at least, that’s usually not the case. Scientists go to great lengths to define precisely their terms of reference. Occultists tend not to. Yet there is the common assumption that a term, when it appears, has the same meaning for everyone. Worse yet, to my mind, there’s a tendency to reduce words to a single meaning. This becomes particularly apparent when words are lifted from other languages, and placed in a different context.” Phil Hine, 2005.


Language is limited by the rules which construct it, the forms which comprise it, the connotations that accrete it, its presentation or tone, and by the spirit of any individual’s intention to relay the message in question.
The beauty of ambiguity therefore lies in its ability to mirror that which perceives the message and attempts to interpret it. It forces the observer to reproduce the deduction by themselves. If the recipient is unable to interpret it (due to an inhibition from the ego), it is dismissed as nonsense. This inhibition is not a “bad thing.” This function prevents us from slipping into the chaos (LAW/LOGOS) of the unconscious mind. However, it is not always a good thing either, because it portrays a fear from the individual to avoid knowing that chaotic part of himself.


I:54. Change not as much as the style of a letter; for behold! thou, o prophet, shall not behold all these mysteries hidden therein.



There are three types of definitions when it comes to language (taken from –


  1. Lexical: A Lexical definition simply reports the way in which a term is already used within a language community. The goal here is to inform someone else of the accepted meaning of the term, so the definition is more or less correct depending upon the accuracy with which it captures that usage.
  2. Stipulative: Freely assigns meaning to a completely new term, creating a usage that had never previously existed. The goal in this case is to propose the adoption of shared use of a novel term, and by virtue of there being no existing standards against which to compare it, the definition is always correct.
  3. Theoretical: Special cases of stipulative definition, distinguished by their attempt to establish the use of this term within the context of a broader intellectual framework. The adoption of any theoretical definition commits us to the acceptance of the theory of which it is an integral part.

In logic, mathematics and science, the use of ambiguity is disadvantageous due to the objective of avoiding contradiction, changes of assigned meaning, and overall aspects of unpredictability which all threaten their foundation  – but art, philosophy, and occultism all have the potential to function in the realms beyond contradiction; where any given contradiction is a set in itself, encompassed by a larger set where both sets provide answers to one another. Evolution in language by the use of theoretical definitions make for extensive understandings but challenges in communication. Similarly, the use of stipulative definitions requires elaboration in meaning, either in context or directly. Even lexicon definitions face the threat of being misunderstood if two people of different fields of study have a conversation using the same terms. Occultists often argue due to a difference in the usage of terms and not necessarily of meaning.
It is the analysis and assimilation of meanings (and of nonsense), underneath the fabric of language which interest me and influence my perception, practice, and life. I recognize that communication is a challenge all on its own to overcome. I sympathize with my acquaintances who have spent years of dedication into specific intellectual fields, but also with the friends I have made over the years that are still searching for the words to express the wisdom of their life experience. The inability or even the intentional use of ambiguity in one’s writing does not mean that person is lacking in knowledge. Similarly, the use of jargon does not mean that person is highly intelligent. We have a duty to seek understanding from others and train ourselves to share our own understandings too.
One of the greatest things I’ve ever felt grateful for, were the times I felt myself struggling to communicate a thought, and the person who listens, not only hears my incoherent phrases and mismatched words, but the frustration that stems from the depths of the mind attempting to fit itself into a small mold in order to be beheld by another – and then gives me more time to explain, with whatever ridiculous examples I find, all without judgement.
“Mitochondria of electric creation of cosmogenesis as it was in megalomaniac gethsemanias of crucifixions of which crucificional definitives is a composition of elements of a rainbow connection of what Creationism was definitely defined with definition … is to a design of architectural tabernacularism made creation in all its concept of creation … e.g. regeneration omni-presences of an ingredient electric re-creating spirit  … and thereby, all this creation is to Tabernacle of what a womb of metempsychoses is to an element in all its purest morphology and that of which is of thou silent transparency of vibrancy is of a name of a nameless purity … God is to Tetragrammaton …”
Hector Paul Navasero